You are being watched

Back for my bi-annual post. Now that I have a computer that was made after 2001, there's at least an outside chance that I will actually write something more than every six months (NOTE: for the 4 of you that read my last blog about macs and PCs, we ended up getting a PC. I guess we can't tweet from Starbucks now while listening to Cobra Starship on our ipods...oh well)

On to today's incoherent rant...

I was at a party the other day, and while I'm not certain the exact context, and for the purposes of this, they're not really important, but the subject of Google's street maps came up. I don't think I really need to explain them because, well, if you're reading my blog, in all likelihood, you're aware of them and have seen them before and have looked up everywhere you've ever lived when you didn't feel like working. Here's something I didn't know,* did you know that the government paid Google to do that?

It gets deeper than that. If you own a GPS, the government knows where you are at all times, EVEN IF YOU TURN IT OFF. It's true.**

Even more, I'm sure you've seen the video about how someone high up in the corporate ladder on Facebook has roots in the Department of Defense.

The clear implication in all of this if you listen to those who give a lot of lip service to all of this stuff is that, the government is VERY interested in what you're doing and has a very sophisticated infrastructure in place to see everything you're doing, who you associate with, where you're going and how you're getting there.

That's some scary stuff right? It's also a CROCK OF SHIT!

Anytime you get into a conversation with somebody and they tell you that something innocuous is actually funded by the federal government, I'll tell you how to stop them in their tracks; ask them why.

My theory is a simple one. For a long time now (15-20 years now,) first through the internet and the alt.whatever.whatever newsgroups, then the World Wide Web and people using the web to express themselves, first through geocities pages, then through friendster, myspace, facebook and now twitter, now everyone has a voice that can be heard anywhere in the world. While I think we can all agree that it's definitely a great thing that these technologies exist and that by and large most people bring a lot of interesting ideas to the table, I think we can also agree that there are a lot of crazies in the stew too (if you don't believe me, check out the "Rants and Raves section of your local Craig's list site sometime.)

With this technology, people have come to the conclusion that since everyone in the world can see what you're up to, if you choose to put yourself out there, everyone in the world really cares what you're doing on a daily basis. More than that, chances are, the Government has to be terribly interested in what you're doing.

I tell you this...If in fact the government is in fact reading this, and there is somebody in a cubicle somewhere whose entire job is to keep tabs on me -- all I have to say is, well, I'm sorry. If your job is to keep an eye on my life, you've probably bored yourself to death by now...and you've also noticed that while I do enjoy fast food, I only end up at Jack in the Box when I'm really drunk(and if you ever see my car at Del Taco, it means someone stole it.) And I'm guessing that as exciting as whatever you do with you life is, the poor bastard whose job it is to keep an eye on you is really wishing that they had finished their degree in art history so they could be a bartender at a hipster bar that serves tallboys of PBR.

Let's look at the Google maps thing, the GPS thing, and the facebook thing with just a drop of logic.

Google Maps
Apparently the government wanted to map all of the streets in America, Google was doing it for their maps feature so they threw Google a little bit of cash for the information. Seems easy enough, yes? It's also absolutely ponitless and unnecessary. If the Government was sending the CIA to some random house in Topeka, Kansas, don't you think that they'd, oh I don't know, coordinate with local law enforcement who you know knows EXACTLY what that house looks like, rather than counting on a camera phone quality image of the neighborhood from 2 years ago?

GPS
Suppose, for a minute, that through GPS systems, the government could see where you were and where you went and all of that fun stuff. There's something else that GPS systems know...how fast you're going, and also the posted speed limits for where you are. If ther WERE watching, don't you think that if the Government had even the slightest ability to track GPS activity, they'd just automatically mail you a ticket every time your GPS reported the speed as being 15 MPH over the posted limit? Shit, they'd be able to pay off the national debt in 2 weeks!

FACEBOOK
Without going in to too many details, but if the government is really using facebook to keep tabs on us, with the amount of drivel that is on facebook, they'd be more successful if they just went through the phone book and arbitrarily arrested 2 people out of it every day.


Look, I was a freshman in college once too. I know that the man is keeping you down, and it's all part of some big elaborate scheme to make sure that everybody falls in line and so that the corporations in their corporate towers can be all corporate and make money, and that there's nothing you can do about it because if you do the government will snuff you out right away....except for one thing. They won't. And for some people, the idea that nobody cares to watch you is scarier than the idea that everyone is.


* - the reason I didn't know this is because it's probably bullshit.
**- It probably isn't...but who cares?